I wanted to , I mean I really wanted to. So I had a think about what steps I would put in place to help me move towards being able to ski.
I realised that I need to start small, begin at the first steps. I had a think about my self talk , 'I can't ski', really the truth of this statement is I dont ski. When I road tested this belief I realised that I don't ski because I cant ski and I cant ski because I haven't learned. In my whole life (and I am nearly 50) I have spent 10 minutes on a snowboard and I have had a one lesson on a pair of skis. Looking at these facts objectively it would be fair to say that I have not really given myself the chance to ski and yet my self talk jumped to 'I cant' and my self belief followed quickly after.
I wondered what was different this time for me. my daughters ski independently now and they ski well. My husband is a good skier and did have a couple of days on the slopes but he seemed to feel the need to keep me company whilst the girls were at ski school and as such I felt we were both missing out, missing the very point of being on the mountain. There were families skiing together in the afternoon and then chatting about their shared experiences in the evening over supper, and it felt like a loss to me that myself and my family did not have that .
Looking for a place to start I began by some reading around living in our bodies, using the body to experience the world around us and interact with the day. I had a bit of a light bulb moment, it was clear as day to me that over the years I have become more in my head and less in my body, I need to find some balance, maybe even take some risks in order to experience the fullness of myself and in doing so, the fullness and colour available to me in my life.
That said, it still felt to big of a leap to grab some skis and sign up there and then, the week took me to the realisation but not the action. So I have set myself a goal and I have created a staged plan to take me to that goal. We will book another ski trip next Easter and this gives me a full year to learn the skills I need to master the basics of skiing, I have booked some lessons with a ski instructor at my local indoor snow centre and I will have a couple of 1:1 sessions in order to build up my confidence and then join one of the group lessons. Goals work best when they are SMART, specific, measured, achievable, realistic and timed. I am not setting a goal to join the winter Olympic ski team a week next Thursday so I feel confident that I am giving myself the best chance to achieve my what I am setting out to do!
I am nervous but my desire to have the family experience of happy confident skiing on the mountain next Easter with my family is stronger than my untested fears and ultimately, if I don't like it after a couple of lessons then I dont have to continue.
What have I got to lose?